tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6569228.post-1097689327280141742004-10-13T10:26:00.000-07:002004-10-13T10:42:22.136-07:00A brother showed up for church whom I know from years ago. I have already asked him out on one occasion and he never returned my phone calls. He got saved and the next service or so I realize that I still feel that I am in love with him. I begin to have delusions about him. I get to the point where I am actually online looking at wedding dresses, but I tell the Lord at one point that I want to know this is of him and that my fleece is going to be that he asks me out. I'm not going to crash and burn by asking him out again. What I mean by a fleece is proof that something is from the Lord, like Gideon asked that the Lord make a fleece dry and dew around it wet and then the next night the fleece wet and the ground around it dry as a confirmation, he just wanted to be sure. I am disappointed. It felt so good to think that somebody loved me, that was the greatest feeling in the world. I thought that this brother kept looking at me, and that he kept showing signs that he liked me and it still seemed that he did, but whatever...this brother also acted years ago like he was in love with me and that I broke his heart I thought but that might have been my imagination or something...the reality check was when I asked him out and he said yes then never returned my calls, though he still acts like he likes me, but innuendo is not suitable. "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him." The devil thinks he can bring confusion and delusion into my life and I will get disappointed and angry with the Lord but I am going to hold steady with the Lord. Yes, it is difficult to let it go, the tendrils are entwined, and I am having a hard time believing that this fantasy world is a delusion after all even after I have been shown that it is, but Devil, the Lord will help me, and I will let it Go, and I will never get mad at the Lord over it, it will only serve to draw us closer. <br />Kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03112962231579162251noreply@blogger.com